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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Random Funny Quotes - 14
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Eric Butterworth
Nothing stops the man who desires to achieve. Every obstacle is simply a course to develop his achievement muscle. It's a strengthening of his powers of accomplishment.
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J. Frank Dobie
The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
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Confucius, The Confucian Analects
The firm, the enduring, the simple, and the modest are near to virtue.
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Charles Caleb Colton
He that thinks himself the wisest is generally the least so.
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Patrick Henry
Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me death!
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Aristotle
Happiness depends upon ourselves.
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The Dhammapada
Travel only with thy equals or thy betters if there are none, travel alone.
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Claudianus
Pride sullies the noblest character.
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Satchel Paige
Dont look back. Something might be gaining on you.
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Sinclair Lewis
Our American professors like their literature clear, cold, pure and very dead.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If I was a cowboy in a lynch mob, I think I'd try to stay near the back. That way, if somebody shamed us into disbanding, I could sort of slip off to the side and pretend I was window-shopping or something.
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Elizabeth Fry, Journal entry
Punishment is not for revenge, but to lessen crime and reform the criminal.
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