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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Random Funny Quotes - 31
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Elizabeth Gaskell
A man is so in the way in the house.
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Karl Kraus
Education is what most receive, many pass on, and few possess.
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Alexander Pope
The general cry is against ingratitude, but the complaint is misplaced, it should be against vanity; none but direct villains are capable of willful ingratitude; but almost everybody is capable of thinking he hath done more that another deserves, while the other thinks he hath received less than he deserves.
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Judy Garland
I was born at the age of twelve on an MGM lot.
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Rabindranath Tagore
Depth of friendship does not depend on length of acquaintance.
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Henry Miller
Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.
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Geri Weitzman
Sometimes you gotta create what you want to be a part of.
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Mark Twain
Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket, -- which is but a manner of saying, Scatter your money and your attention, but the wise man saith, Put all your eggs in the one basket and -- watch that basket.
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Oscar Wilde, A Picture of Dorian Grey - Preface
We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely. All art is quite useless.
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George Orwell
Part of the reason for the ugliness of adults, in a child's eyes, is that the child is usually looking upwards, and few faces are at their best when seen from below.
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Phaedrus
There is danger in both belief and unbelief.
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Juvenal, Satires
The people that once bestowed commands, consulships, legions, and all else, now concerns itself no more, and longs eagerly for just two things - bread and circuses!
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