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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Funny Quotes - 70
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Bertrand Russell
All movements go too far.
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Harry S Truman
We can never tell what is in store for us.
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George W. Bush, Inaugural address, 2001
The peaceful transfer of authority is rare in history, yet common in our country. With a simple oath, we affirm old traditions and make new beginnings.
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Hugh Elliott
I have you and even if we never meet or ever see each other, we have left our thumbprints in the thick, moist clay of each others lives.
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Albert Camus
Everyone would like to behave like a pagan, with everyone else behaving like a Christian.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers it's gone, I think a good thing to do is to blame it on Santa Claus.
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Maitri Upanishads
As the same fire assumes different shapes When it consumes objects differing in shape, So does the one Self take the shape Of every creature in whom he is present.
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Gay
Shall ignorance of good and ill Dare to direct the eternal will?
Seek virtue, and of that possest,
To Providence resign the rest.
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Lewis Carroll
Everything has got a moral if you can only find it.
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Lyndon B. Johnson
Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or to lose.
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Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
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Herbert Spencer
Civilization is a progress from an indefinite, incoherent homogeneity toward a definite, coherent heterogeneity.
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