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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Random Funny Quotes - 132
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Oscar Arias Sanchez
The more freedom we enjoy, the greater the responsibility we bear, toward others as well as ourselves.
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Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
We say that the hour of death cannot be forecast, but when we say this we imagine that hour as placed in an obscure and distant future. It never occurs to us that it has any connection with the day already begun or that death could arrive this same afternoon, this afternoon which is so certain and which has every hour filled in advance.
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Henry James, "The Ambassadors", Book Ninth, Chapter 2
She had fortunately always her appetite for news. The pure flame of the disinterested burned in her cave of treasures as a lamp in a Byzantine vault.
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Anna Quindlen, O Magazine, May 2003
The world is full of women blindsided by the unceasing demands of motherhood, still flabbergasted by how a job can be terrific and torturous.
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Vaclev Havel
Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.
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Albert Einstein
He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, senseless brutality, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is I would rather be torn to shreds than be part of so base an action It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder.
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Homer, The Iliad
It is entirely seemly for a young man killed in battle to lie mangled by the bronze spear. In his death all things appear fair. But when dogs shame the gray head and gray chin and nakedness of an old man killed, it is the most piteous thing that happens among wretched mortals.
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Plato, The Republic
The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government is to live under the government of worse men.
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Orson Welles
In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love they had five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did that produce The cuckoo clock.
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Dwight D. Eisenhower
I never saw a pessimistic general win a battle.
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Matt Groening, "Life in Hell"
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
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George Santayana
A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
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