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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Funny Quotes - 69
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William Shakespeare
The game is up.
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Judy Garland
Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of someone else.
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Kim Hubbard
Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
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Italian Proverb
Years and sins are always more than owned.
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George S. Patton
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
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Kahlil Gibran
The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious to the rose.
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Victor Hugo
Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossile to be silent.
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George Bergman
There is no time like the pleasant.
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James Arthur Baldwin
The price one pays for pursuing a profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.
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Voltaire
Anything too stupid to be said is sung.
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Barbara DeAngelis
Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.
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James Earl Jimmy Carter, Jr.
You can't divorce religious belief and public service ... I've never detected any conflict between God's will and my political duty. If you violate one, you violate the other.
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