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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Random Funny Quotes - 131
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William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar
Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.
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Saint Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace Where there is hatred let me sow love Where there is injury, pardon Where there is doubt, faith Where there is despair, hope Where there is darkness, light Where there is sadness, joy.
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Ralph Kiner
There's a lot of heredity in that family.
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H. P. Lovecraft
The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear. And the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.
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Eckhart Tolle
Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.
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Ronald Reagan
The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would hire them away.
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Unknown
Mahatma Gandi was what wives wish their husbands were: thin, tan and moral.
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Francois de La Rochefoucauld
We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones.
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Mark Twain
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
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Dee W. Hock
Never hire or promote in your own image. It is foolish to replicate your strength and idiotic to replicate your weakness. It is essential to employ, trust, and reward those whose perspective, ability, and judgment are radically different from yours. It is also rare, for it requires uncommon humility, tolerance, and wisdom.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you're pretty happy, but you have a little Chihuahua that's always biting you on the ankles, still that's pretty good isn't it I'm going to go ahead and keep you in the 'happy' category.
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Robert Frost
Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.
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