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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Random Funny Quotes - 122
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Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld
Men want the same thing from women and their underwear: support, comfort, and freedom.
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John Davidson Rockefeller, Sr.
The secret of success is to do common things uncommonly well.
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Norman Douglas
You can construct the character of a man and his age not only from what he does and says, but from what he fails to say and do.
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H.L. Mencken
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.
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Chinese Proverb
Deep doubts, deep wisdom; small doubts, little wisdom.
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Richard Dawkins
Much as we might wish to believe otherwise, universal love and the welfare of the species as a whole are concepts which simply do not make evolutionary sense.
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Jean Baptiste Montegut
Music like religion, unconditionally brings in its train all the moral virtues to the heart it enters, even though that heart is not in the least worthy.
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Samuel Johnson
In order that all men may be taught to speak truth, it is necessary that all likewise should learn to hear it.
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Erma Bombeck
Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
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Princess Elizabeth Asquith Bibesco
'It is never good dwelling on good-byes,' she said. 'It is not the being together that it prolongs, it is the parting.'
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Nellie Hershey Tullis
The next best thing to winning is losing At least you've been in the race.
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Andrew Schneider
If you're going to be a healer, it's not enough to read books and learn allegorical stories. you need to get your feet wet, get some clinical experience under your belt.
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