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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Random Funny Quotes - 121
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George Will
Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society violence punctuated by committee meetings.
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Attributed by Plato to Socrates, "Apology"
The unexamined life is not worth living to a human.
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Mother Theresa
Joy is prayer - Joy is strength - Joy is love - Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.
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Lee Iacocca
In a completely rational society, the best of us would be teachers and the rest of us would have to settle for something else.
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Joseph Addison
Cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity.
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Clive Staples Lewis
Just a hurried line...to tell a story which puts the contrast between *our* feast of the Nativity and all this ghastly Xmas racket at it's lowest. My brother heard a woman on a 'bus say, as the 'bus passed a church with a Crib outside it, Oh Lor' They bring religion into everything. Look- they're dragging it even into Christmas now
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Aleksander Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago
If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insiduously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to seperate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?
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Virgil
O tyrant love, to what do you not drive the hearts of men.
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Wally Lamb
Accept what people offer. Drink their milkshakes. Take their love.
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Homer
There is a strength in the union even of very sorry men.
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Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
There are four kinds of Homicide felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
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Lord Chesterfield
Learning is acquired by reading books, but the much more necessary learning, the knowledge of the world, is only to be acquired by reading men, and studying all the various facets of them.
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