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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Random Funny Quotes - 57
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H. Jackson Jr. Brown
Strive for excellence, not perfection.
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Anonymous
Temper gets you into trouble. Pride keeps you there.
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Jerry Coleman
Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen.
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Lenin
While the State exists, there can be no freedom. When there is freedom there will be no State.
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J. R. R. Tolkien
Many that live deserve death. And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of justice, fearing for your own safety. Even the wise cannot see all ends.
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Unknown
A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.
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unknown, US Navy Wisdom
Good seamanship is recovering from an incident at sea. Great seamanship is avoiding an incident at sea.
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Italian Proverb
He who knows nothing doubts nothing.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If there's ever an amusement park called Bag World, I bet it would really start to annoy you after a while how they really sort of stretch the definition of 'bag.'
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George Will, Newsweek, 2/22/93
...in the lexicon of the political class, the word sacrifice means that the citizens are supposed to mail even more of their income to Washington so that the political class will not have to sacrifice the pleasure of spending it.
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Ludwig Wittgenstein
Philosophy is a battle against the bewitchment of our intelligence by means of language.
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Donald Robert Perry Marquis
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you but if you really make them think, they'll hate you.
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