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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotes - 40
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Mark Twain
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be led by the nose.
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Ed Macauley
When you are not practicing, remember, someone somewhere is practicing, and when you meet him he will win.
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Benjamin Cardozo
Opinion has a significance proportioned to the sources that sustain it.
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John Updike
Four years was enough of Harvard. I still had a lot to learn, but had been given the liberating notion that now I could teach myself.
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John Kerry, speech in New York, August 24, 2004
I defended this country as a young man, and I will defend it as president.
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Dean Koontz
Some people think only intellect counts: knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to get by, knowing how to identify an advantage and seize it. But the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion and empathy.
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Helen Hayes
If you rest, you rust.
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Mark Twain
Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
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John Ruskin
In order that people may be happy in their work, these three things are needed They must be fit for it. They must not do too much of it. And they must have a sense of success in it.
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Robert Mallet
How many pessimists end up by desiring the things they fear, in order to prove that they are right?
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Edmund Burke
We must not always judge of the generality of the opinion by the noise of the acclamation.
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Roy Moody
The greatest motivational act one person can do for another is to listen.
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