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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Quotes - 39
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George Eliot
To judge wisely, we must know how things appear to the unwise.
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William Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar", Act 4 scene 3
There is a tide in the affairs of men Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
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Unknown
Anger is only one letter short of danger.
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George Bernard Shaw, Caesar and Cleopatra (1901)
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.
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John Updike
Creativity is merely a plus name for regular activity . . . any activity becomes creative when the doer cares about dong it right, or better.
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Golda Meir
As President Nixon says, presidents can do almost anything, and President Nixon has done many things that nobody would have thought of doing.
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Jeff Melvoin
CHRIS What's art, Holling Is a Davinci art Dada art If you wrap up the whole Reichstag in toilet paper, is that art HOLLING Well, I can't give you a complete definition, but I think it would be something Maurice would be willing to give good money for. CHRIS Yeah, well, you're starting to scare me cause if that's art, then I got to get a whole new gig.
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Billie Holiday
All dope can do for you is kill you the long hard way. And it can kill the people you love right along with you.
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Napolean Hill
Experience is an asset of which no worker can be cheated, no matter how selfish or greedy his immediate employer may be.
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Dwight Lyman Moody
Character is what you are in the dark.
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Dale Carnegie
Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.
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Pat Robertson, The World Almanac and Book of Facts, 1993
It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.
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