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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotes - 30
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Elizabeth Bowen
Nobody speaks the truth when there's something they must have.
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Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, (Sherlock Holmes) A Scandal in Bohemia, 1892
You see, but you do not observe.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
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Thomas Traherne
The soul is made for action, and cannot rest till it be employed. Idleness is its rust. Unless it will up and think and taste and see, all is in vain.
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William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 3 scene 2
The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
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Voltaire
Work saves us from three great evils boredom, vice and need.
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Rita Rudner
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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Publilius Syrus
Count not him among your friends who will retail your privacies to the world.
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Paul Tournier
That is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life.
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Noel Coward
Television is for appearing on - not for looking at.
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Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince
Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel. Every one sees what you appear to be, few really know what you are.
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Henry Ford
If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.
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