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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Quotes - 59
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A. Lawrence Lowell
Pleasure is a by-product of doing something that is worth doing. Therefore, do not seek pleasure as such. Pleasure comes of seeking something else, and comes by the way.
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Louisa May Alcott
Housekeeping ain't no joke.
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Alice May Brock
Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian wine and tarragon make it French. Sour cream makes it Russian lemon and cinnamon make it Greek. Soy sauce makes it Chinese garlic makes it good.
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Ira Glasser
You will be pleased to know I stand obediently for the national anthem, though of course I would defend your right to remain seated should you so decide.
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Amy Vanderbilt
Do not smoke without asking permission or sit so near (as in a train) that the smoke might annoy.
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Dan Quayle
Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
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Adm. Horatio Nelson, last words, 21 Oct 1805.
Thank God, I have done my duty. Kiss me, Hardy.
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Aquaviva
Let us be resolute in prosecuting our ends, and mild in our methods of so doing.
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Prof. Larry Wasserman
Now let me explain why this makes intuitive sense.
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Quentin Crisp
Treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
A true friend is somebody who can make us do what we can.
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George Bernard Shaw
Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.
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