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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Random Quotes - 23
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Professor Edsger Dijkstra, at the ACN South Central Regional Conference, Austin, Texas, 16 to 18 Novemver 1984
The fathers of the field had been pretty confusing: John von Neumann speculated about computers and the human brain in analogies sufficiently wild to be worthy of a medieval thinker, and Alan Turing thought about criteria to settle the question of whether machines can think, a question of which we now know that it is about as relevant as the question of whether submarines can swim.
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Giorgos Zambetas, Greek musician
Experience is a comb that is given to you, when you have already lost you hair.
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George Bernard Shaw
Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.
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John Berry
The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp.
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Dag Hammarskjld
It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual than to labor diligently for the salvation of the masses.
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Clive Staples Lewis
The safest road to hell is the gradual one-the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.
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Missy Good
Courage, her mother had once told her, was not simply the fact that you weren't scared of anything.. it was being scared, and doing whatever it was anyway. Courage was dealing with your fears, and not letting them rule you.
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Vince Lombardi
Once a man has made a commitment to a way of life, he puts the greatest strength in the world behind him. It's something we call heart power. Once a man has made his commitment, nothing will stop him short of success.
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Stan Openshaw - Doomsday
Some people imagine that nuclear war will mean instant and painless death. But for millions this will not be the case. The accounts of the injured at Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and of the doctors who tried to tend them, witness to the horrors and torments which would be magnified thousands of times over in the kinds of attack we analyse here. . .
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Charles Darwin
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science.
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Theodore Hesburgh
I can think of no better way of redeeming this tragic world today than love and laughter. Too many of the young have forgotten how to laugh, and too many of the elders have forgotten how to love. Would not our lives be lightened if only we could all learn to laugh more easily at ourselves and to love one another
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Sidney Madwed
Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives. Unfortunately most of us are completely unaware of this fact and we do not monitor our thoughts with the care needed so that we can create in our lives the results we say we want. Since the great majority of people do not feel worthy and deserving of abundant good fortune, radiant good health and total success in all areas of their lives that overriding thought pattern controls the results people get. The first order of business of anyone who wants to enjoy success in all areas of his her life is to take charge of the internal dialogue they have and only think, say and behavior in a manner consistent with the results they truly desire.
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