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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Funny Random Quotes - 21

Saskya Pandita

Much talking is the cause of danger. Silence is the means of avoiding misfortune. The talkative parrot is shut up in a cage. Other birds, without speech, fly freely about.


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Mark Twain

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.


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Albert Einstein

It is the duty of every citizen according to his best capacities to give validity to his convictions in political affairs.


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Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince

There is no other way of guarding oneself against flattery than by letting men understand that they will not offend you by speaking the truth; but when everyone can tell you the truth, you lose their respect.


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Harold Macmillan, Wall Street Journal, Aug. 13, 1963

I have never found, in a long experience of politics, that criticism is ever inhibited by ignorance.


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Salman Rushdie

Our lives teach us who we are.


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Horace

There is measure in all things.


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Fred Allen

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.


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Oliver Goldsmith

Hope, like the gleaming taper's light, Adorns and cheers our way And still, as darker grows the night, Emits a brighter ray.


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John Christian Bovee

It is ever the invisible that is the object of our profoundest worship. With the lover it is not the seen but the unseen that he muses upon.


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Francis Bacon

A good life is a series of joyful meetings and joyful moments.


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Casino

Ace Running a casino is like robbing a bank with no cops around. For guys like me, Las Vegas washes away your sins. It's like a morality car wash.



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