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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Quotes - 45
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Josh Billings
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
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George Santayana
The world is not respectable; it is mortal, tormented, confused, deluded forever; but it is shot through with beauty, with love, with glints of courage and laughter; and in these, the spirit blooms timidly, and struggles to the light amid the thorns.
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Tommy Boy
Tommy Did you hear I graduated Richard Yeah and just a shade under a decade. All right. Tommy You know a lot of people go to college for seven years. Richard I know, they're called doctors.
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Morrie Schwartz, Tuesdays With Morrie
The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.
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Bertrand Russell
Government can easily exist without laws, but law cannot exist without government.
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Ludwig Wittgenstein
If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done.
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Kathleen Norris, O Magazine, July 2003
If we are lucky, we can give in and rest without feeling guilty. We can stop doing and concentrate on being.
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Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Economy, 1854
Our houses are such unwieldy property that we are often imprisoned rather than housed in them.
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Robert Bringle
Envy can be a positive motivator. Let it inspire you to work harder for what you want.
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Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it--and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit on a hot stove lid again--and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
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Italian Proverb
It is not enough to aim; you must hit.
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Anatole France
To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.
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