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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotes - 20
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Tom Wilson
Honesty is the best image.
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Jay Gould
I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.
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Bertrand Russell
I found one day in school a boy of medium size ill-treating a smaller boy. I expostulated, but he replied 'The bigs hit me, so I hit the babies that's fair.' In these words he epitomized the history of the human race.
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Steven Wright
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer
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Erich Gutkind
The stupendous fact that we stand in the midst of reality will always be something far more wonderful than anything we do.
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Thomas Jefferson
Error of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it.
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Cicero
Live as brave men; and if fortune is adverse, front its blows with brave hearts.
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George Rogers, Saints running back
I want to gain 1,500 or 2,000 yards, whichever comes first.
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Franz Kafka
Anything that has real and lasting value is always a gift from within.
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Cicero
I will go further, and assert that nature without culture can often do more to deserve praise than culture without nature.
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Seneca
Without an adversary prowess shrivels. We see how great and efficient it really is only when it shows by endurance what it is capable of.
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Christopher Hampton
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.
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