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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Very Funny Random Quotes - 80

Mignon McLaughlin

I'm always there to tell people that their life is not that bad. I wish it was easy to follow that advice It is important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to friendship that we are not.


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George Sand

It is a mistake to regard age as a downhill grade toward dissolution. The reverse is true. As one grows older, one climbs with surprising strides.


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Clifford Stoll

Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?


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Mark Twain

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.


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Walter Winchell

A friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.


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Rufus Choate

Happy is he who has laid up in his youth, and held fast in all fortune, a genuine and passionate love of reading.


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Oscar Wilde

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself.


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James McNeill Whistler

Two and two continue to make four, in spite of the whine of the amateur for three, or the cry of the critic for five.


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Stephen Covey

If we keep doing what we're doing, we're going to keep getting what we're getting.


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H. L. Mencken

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.


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Dylan Thomas, Collected poems (1952)

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.


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Thomas Carlyle

Skepticism means, not intellectual doubt alone, but moral doubt.



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