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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotes - 80
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Mignon McLaughlin
I'm always there to tell people that their life is not that bad. I wish it was easy to follow that advice It is important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to friendship that we are not.
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George Sand
It is a mistake to regard age as a downhill grade toward dissolution. The reverse is true. As one grows older, one climbs with surprising strides.
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Clifford Stoll
Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?
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Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
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Walter Winchell
A friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
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Rufus Choate
Happy is he who has laid up in his youth, and held fast in all fortune, a genuine and passionate love of reading.
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Oscar Wilde
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself.
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James McNeill Whistler
Two and two continue to make four, in spite of the whine of the amateur for three, or the cry of the critic for five.
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Stephen Covey
If we keep doing what we're doing, we're going to keep getting what we're getting.
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H. L. Mencken
Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.
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Dylan Thomas, Collected poems (1952)
Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
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Thomas Carlyle
Skepticism means, not intellectual doubt alone, but moral doubt.
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