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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Quotes - 49
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Andrew Carnegie
Surplus wealth is a sacred trust which its possessor is bound to administer in his lifetime for the good of the community.
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Alan Chadwick
We are the living links in a life force that moves and plays around and through us, binding the deepest soils with the farthest stars.
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Niels Henrik David Bohr
No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical.
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Morarji Ranchhodji Desai
Self-help must precede help from others. Even for making certain of help from heaven, one has to help oneself.
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Ernie Banks
Let's play two
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Charles Spencer
Genuine goodness is threatening to those at the opposite end of the moral spectrum.
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Rita Rudner
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
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Dave Barry
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
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Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
How much time he gains who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks, but only at what he does himself, to make it just and holy.
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William Congreve, The Mourning Bride, Act 1 Scene 1
Music has charms to soothe the savage breast To soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak.
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Rabindranath Tagore
Nirvana is not the blowing out of the candle. It is the extinguishing of the flame because day is come.
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F. Scott Fitzgerald
He waited for the mask to drop off, but at the same time he did not question her right to wear it.
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