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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Random Quotes - 67
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Gerald R. Ford
As I rejected amnesty, so I reject revenge. I ask all Americans who ever asked for goodness and mercy in their lives, who ever sought forgiveness for their trespasses, to join in rehabilitating all the casualties of the tragic conflict of the past. (On Americans who avoided conscription during the Vietnam War, to Veterans of Foreign Wars)
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Kahlil Gibran
Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be.
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H.P. Lovecraft, "The Call of Cthulhu"
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.
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Augustine Birrell
Any ordinary man can...surround himself with two thousand books...and thenceforward have at least one place in the world in which it is possible to be happy.
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Gerald R. Ford
Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.
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Aldous Huxley
The vast majority of human beings dislike and even dread all notions with which they are not familiar. Hence it comes about that at their first appearance innovators have always been devided as fools and madmen.
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Titus Maccius Plautus, Trinummus
What is yours is mine, and all mine is yours.
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Gustav Mahler
Tradition is laziness.
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Charles W. Eliot
Books are the quietest and most constant of friends they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers.
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Spike Milligan
Money can't buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy.
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Robert F. Bennett
Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.
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William Shakespeare, "Romeo and Juliet", Act 2 scene 2
O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
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