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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Random Quotes - 196
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Andy Rooney
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
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Horace
The appearance of right oft leads us wrong.
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Alan Patrick Herbert
The conception of two people living together for twenty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
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Henry Ford
Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.
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Virginia Crocheron Gildersleeve
I was resolved to sustain and preserve in my college the bite of the mind, the chance to stand face to face with truth, the good life lived in a small, various, highly articulate and democratic society.
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J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince
...people find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right.
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H. L. Mencken
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.
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William Shakespeare
The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.
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Harry S Truman, August 8, 1950
Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and creates a country where everyone lives in fear.
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May Sarton
There is only one real deprivation, I decided this morning, and that is not to be able to give one's gifts to those one loves most.
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Rush Hour
Lee Not being able to speak is not the same as not speaking. You seem as if you like to talk. I like to let people talk who like to talk. It makes it easier to find out how full of shit they are.
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Jane Austen
It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
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