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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Humorous Random Quotes - 195

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Time heals what reason cannot.


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Benjamin Franklin

He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money.


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Homer

The wine urges me on, the bewitching wine, which sets even a wise man to singing and to laughing gently and rouses him up to dance and brings forth words which were better unspoken.


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Greek Proverb

The net of the sleeper catches fish.


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Dylan Thomas

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.


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Aristotle

Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way...you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions.


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D. March

Proverbs are in the world of thought what gold coin is in the world of business - great value in small compass, and equally current among all people. Sometimes the proverb may be false, the coin counterfeit, but in both cases the false proves the value of the true.


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Walt Whitman

The habit of giving only enhances the desire to give.


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Sir Philip Sidney

The ingredients of health and long life, are great temperance, open air, easy labor, and little care.


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Beatrix Potter

All outward forms of religion are almost useless, and are the causes of endless strife . Believe there is a great power silently working all things for good, behave yourself, and never mind the rest.


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Max Born

We need to make a world in which fewer children are born, and in which we take better care of them.


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Aristotle

Character is that which reveals moral purpose, exposing the class of things a man chooses or avoids



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