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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Random Quotations - 71
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness.
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N. W. Dougherty, 1955
The ideal engineer is a composite ... He is not a scientist, he is not a mathematician, he is not a sociologist or a writer; but he may use the knowledge and techniques of any or all of these disciplines in solving engineering problems.
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Mark Twain
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
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Gamal Abdel Nasser
There is no longer a way out of our present situation except by forging a road toward our objective, violently and by force, over a sea of blood and under a horizon blazing with fire.
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Aldous Huxley, "Texts and Pretexts", 1932
Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.
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Victor Hugo
What is grace? It is the inspiration from on high: it is love; it is liberty. Grace is the spirit of law. This discovery of the spirit of law belongs to Saint Paul; and what he calls grace from a heavenly point of view, we, from an earthly point, call rigtheousness.
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Mell Lazzarus
The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent.
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John Kerry
I would rather be the candidate of the NAACP than the NRA.
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John Locke
All wealth is the product of labor.
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Confucius
The people may be made to follow a path of action, but they may not be made to understand it.
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Charles Hanson Towne
Indeed, we do not really live unless we have friends surrounding us like a firm wall against the winds of the world.
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Bruce Lee
A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.
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