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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Humorous Random Quotations - 55

Homer

Dreams surely are difficult, confusing, and not everything in them is brought to pass for mankind. For fleeting dreams have two gates one is fashioned of horn and one of ivory. Those which pass through the one of sawn ivory are deceptive, bringing tidings which come to nought, but those which issue from the one of polished horn bring true results when a mortal sees them.


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Burt Bacharach

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.


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Caecilius Statius

Wisdom oft lurks beneath a tattered coat.


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Ralph Nader

The networks are not some chicken-coop manufacturing lobby whose calls nobody returns.


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Buddha

All that we are is the result of what we have thought.


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Michel de Montaigne

So it is with minds. Unless you keep them busy with some definite subject that will bridle and control them, they throw themselves in disorder hither and yon in the vague field of imagination. ..And there is no mad or idle fancy that they do no bring forth in the agitation.


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W. Somerset Maugham

Tradition is a guide and not a jailer.


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Alan Moore, The league of extraordinary gentlemen, chapter 5

Our situation has the disaffected beauty of a chess game.


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Sigmund Freud

I have found little that is good about human beings. In my experience most of them, on the whole, are trash.


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Seneca

To be always fortunate, and to pass through life with a soul that has never known sorrow, is to be ignorant of one half of nature.


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Samuel Butler

People care more about being thought to have taste than about being good, clever, or amiable.


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Kit Carson

The cowards never start and the weak die along the way.



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