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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Random Quotes - 178
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Robert Louis Stevenson
Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others.
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Lyndon B. Johnson
I believe the destiny of your generation-and your nation-is a rendezvous with excellence.
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Office Space
Peter So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
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Margaret Hilda Thatcher
I have a habit of comparing the phraseology of communiqus, one with another across the years, and noting a certain similarity of words, a certain similarity of optimism in the reports which followed the summit meetings and a certain similarity in the lack of practical results during the ensuing years.
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William E. Holler
You can do what you want to do, accomplish what you want to accomplish, attain any reasonable objective you may have in mind--not all of a sudden, perhaps not in one swift and sweeping act of achievement--but you can do it gradually, day by day and play by play, if you want to do it, if you work to do it, over a sufficiently long period of time.
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Chauncey Depew
The enjoyment of life would be instantly gone if you removed the possibility of doing something.
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Edith Hamilton
To be able to be caught up into the world of thought -- that is being educated.
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Aaron Levenstein
Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
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Otto von Bismark
When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn't the slightest intention of putting it into practice.
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Rabbi Mark David Finkel, Gov. Craig Benson Inaugural Speech, January 9, 2003
We are wise when we learn from one another. We are strong when we contain our impulses. We are honored when we honor others.
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Author Unknown
When you can think of yesterday without regret and tomorrow without fear, you are near contentment.
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Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.
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