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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Random Quotes - 192
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Lyndon Baines Johnson
Gerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off.
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Peter Mere Latham
Fortunate indeed, is the man who takes exactly the right measure of himself, and holds a just balance between what he can acquire and what he can use.
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Yogi Berra
Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.
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Homer, The Odyssey
All strangers and beggars are from Zeus, and a gift, though small, is precious.
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Jim Morrison
I think the highest and lowest points are the important ones. Anything else is just...in between. I want the freedom to try everything.
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Edna Ferber
Perhaps too much of everything is as bad as too little.
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Florida Scott-Maxwell, Oprah Magazine, May 2004
You need only claim the event of your life to make yourself yours. When you truly possess all you have been and done, which may take some time, you are fierce with reality.
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Richard Buckminster Fuller
God, to me, it seems, is a verb, not a noun, proper or improper.
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Napoleon
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
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Unknown
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
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John Fitzgerald Kennedy
The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie--deliberate, contrived and dishonest--but the myth--persistant, persuasive and unrealistic.
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Colonel William Prescott
Don't one of you fire until you see the whites of their eyes.N.B. A lesser-known version of this quotation was supposedly said by Frederick the Great at Prague in 1757 By push of bayonets, no firing till you see the whites of their eyes.
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