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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Quotations - 29
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Blaise Pascal, "Lettres provinciales", letter 16, 1657
I have made this letter longer, because I have not had the time to make it shorter.
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Coming to America
Reverend Brown Girl, you look so good, someone ought to put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit.
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Anonymous
The best defense against the atom bomb is not to be there when it goes off.
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Robert Francis Kennedy
I thought they'd get one of us, but Jack, after all he's been through, never worried about it ... I thought it would be me.
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Socrates
I decided that it was not wisdom that enabled poets to write their poetry, but a kind of instinct or inspiration, such as you find in seers and prophets who deliver all their sublime messages without knowing in the least what they mean.
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Frank Herbert, The Dosadi Experiment
If you think of yourselves as helpless and ineffectual, it is certain that you will create a despotic government to be your master. The wise despot, therefore, maintains among his subjects a popular sense that they are helpless and ineffectual.
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P. J. O\'Rourke
Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.
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Elias Schwartz
Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it.
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Joan Baez
You don't get to choose how you're going to die, or when. You can decide how you're going to live now.
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Anonymous
Unity in things necessary, liberty in things doubtful, charity in everything.
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Marge Piercy
Long hair is considered bohemian, which may be why I grew it, but I keep it long because I love the way it feels, part cloak, part fan, part mane, part security blanket.
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Abba Eban
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
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