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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Quotations - 19
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Anon.
The Internet is like a vault with a screen door on the back. I don't need jackhammers and atom bomb to get in when I can walk through the door.
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Margaret Atwood
Another belief of mine that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.
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Benjamin Franklin
Well done is better than well said.
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Nikita Khrushchev
There are still some people who think that we have Stalin to thank for all our progress, who quake before Stalin's dirty underdrawers, who stand at attention and salute them.
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Alexander Meigs Haig
I probably carry more scar tissue on my derrire than any other candidate-that's political scar tissue.
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Jesse Louis Jackson
Dream is not a revelation. If a dream affords the dreamer some light on himself, it is not the person with closed eyes who makes the discovery but the person with open eyes lucid enough to fit thoughts together. Dream- a scintillating mirage surrounded by shadows- is essentially poetry.
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Dumb & Dumber
Lloyd When I met Mary, I got that old fashioned romantic feeling, where I'd do anything to bone her.
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Voltaire
The secret of being boring is to say everything.
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George Dennison Prentice
What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease.
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Moliere
Rest assured that there is nothing which wounds the heart of a noble man more deeply than the thought his honour is assailed.
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Chief Seattle
The air is precious to the red man, for all things share the same breath-the beast, the tree, the man, they all share the same breath. The white man does not seem to notice the air he breathes. Like a man dying for many days, he is numb to the stench.
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U.S. Senate Chaplain Richard Halverson, addressing 600 people at a prayer breakfast, March 1992 in Wisconsin
Atheism has no room for human rights.
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