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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Quotes - 185
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David Duchovny
Our country was founded on a distrust of government. Our founding fathers gave power to the people to keep an eye on government. So when politicians say, Trust me, they're actually being very un-American.
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MIT Assasination Club slogan
To err is human; to forgive is simply not our policy
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Theodore Roethke
A mind too active is no mind at all.
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Elbert Hubbard
A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.
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Dr. Seuss
Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So. . . get on your way.
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Arthur Schopenhauer
Buying books would be a good thing if one could also buy the time to read them in but as a rule the purchase of books is mistaken for the appropriation of their contents.
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Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf
He is neither a strategist nor is he schooled in the operational arts, nor is he a tactician, nor is he a general. Other than that he's a great military man. (describing Saddam Hussein of Iraq, 1991)
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William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice
The man that hath no music in himself, Nor is not moved with concord of sweet sounds, Is fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils; The motions of his spirit are dull as night, And his affections dark as Erebus. Let no such man be trusted.
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Swedish Proverb
Fear less, hope moreWhine less, breathe moreTalk less, say moreHate less, love moreAnd all good things are yours.
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Mark Twain
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
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Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.
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Vernon Sanders Law
Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.
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