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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Quotations - 39
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Thomas Hardy
If a way to the better there be, it lies in taking a full look at the worst.
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Sir Winston Churchill
I am reminded of the professor who, in his declining hours, was asked by his devoted pupils for his final counsel. He replied, 'Verify your quotations.'
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Swahili Proverb
There are three things which if one does not know, one cannot live long in the world what is too much for one, what is too little for one, and what is just right for one.
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Edna Ferber
Perhaps too much of everything is as bad as too little.
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Simondes of Ceos
The city is the teacher of the man.
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Jimmy Durante
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
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George Moore
A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
He who has a thousand friendsHas not a friend to spare,While he who has one enemyShall meet him everywhere.
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G.K. Chesterton
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
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General Douglas MacArthur
On the fields of friendly strife are sown the seeds that on other days and other fields will bear the fruits of victory.
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Oscar Wilde
Journalism justifies its own existence by the great Darwinian principle of the survival of the vulgarist.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
It makes me mad when I go to all the trouble of having Marta cook up about a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at the Marineland says, 'You can't throw chicken to the dolphins. They eat fish.' Sure they eat fish, if that's all you give them. Man, wise up.
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