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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Quotations - 65
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Jorge Luis Borges
Any life, no matter how long and complex it may be, is made up of a single moment - the moment in which a man finds out, once and for all, who he is.
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La Rochefoucauld
We seldom attribute common sense except to those who agree with us.
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Fritjof Capra
In the end the aggressors always destroy themselves, making way for others who know how to cooperate and get along. Life is much less a competitive struggle for survival than a triumph of cooperation and creativity.
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Herodotus, The Histories of Herodotus
If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it.
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Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
You guys line up alphabetically by height.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, ummmm, boy.
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Terry Pratchett
Sometimes glass glitters more than diamonds because it has more to prove.
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Woodrow Wilson
There is such a thing as a man being too proud to fight there is such a thing as a nation being so right that it does not need to convince others by force that it is right.
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Robert Green Ingersoll
I am inferior of any man whose rights I trample under foot. Men are not superior by reason of the accidents of race or color. They are superior who have the best heart--the best brain.
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Alanis Morissette
I see my body as an instrument, rather than an ornament.
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Unknown
The human race is faced with a cruel choice work or daytime television.
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Eleanor Roosevelt
It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself.
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