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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotations - 60
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Dorothy Parker, telegram to friend who had given birth
Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.
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Henry J. Kaiser
Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.
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Voltaire, Letter to Frederick, 1767
As long as there are fools and rascals, there will be religions.
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Witold Gombrowicz
Do you want to know who you are Don't ask. Act Action will delineate and define you.
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Edgar Watson Howe
Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies.
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Bokonon
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The phrases that men hear or repeat continually, end by becoming convictions and ossify the organs of intelligence.
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Mark Twain
There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
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Seneca
The first step towards amendment is the recognition of error.
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Ronald Reagan
The war in Vietnam threatened to tear our society apart, and the political and philosophical disagreements that separated each side continue, to some extent. It's been said that these memorials reflect a hunger for healing.
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George Carlin
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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William Shakespeare, "The Merry Wives of Windsor", Act 4 scene 1
Your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole.
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