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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Quotations from Famous People - 161
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Roderic Owen
The important thing is to know when to laugh, or since laughing is somewhat undignified to smile. But the smile must be of the right kind must have understanding in it, and friendliness, and a good deal of patience.
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Mark Twain
Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times.
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Peter Ustinov
The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.
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C. S. Lewis
No one ever told me grief felt so much like fear.
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Alfred A. Montapert
To accomplish great things we must first dream, then visualize, then plan... believe... act!
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Heraclitus
All if flux, nothing stays still.
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Kahlil Gibran
I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church. For you and I are sons of one religion, and it is the spirit.
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Albert Einstein
There has already been published by the bucketfuls such brazen lies and utter fictions about me that I would long since have gone to my grave if I had let myself pay attention to that.
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Mark Twain
In religion and politics people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.
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Darrel Royal
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
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Derek Bethune
I won't say there aren't any Harvard graduates who have never asserted a superior attitude. But they have done so to our great embarrassment and in no way represent the Harvard I know.
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Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy
In the middle of the journey of our life I came to myself within a dark wood where the straight way was lost.
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