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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Quotations from Famous People - 159
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Bertrand Russell
Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.
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Irv Kupcinet
What can you say about a society that says God is dead and Elvis is alive?
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Peter Ustinov
Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much.
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Francois de Fenelon
Discouragement is simply the despair of wounded self-love.
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Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate.
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Albert Einstein
He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
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Mike Newlin
Genius is perseverence in disguise.
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Helen Keller
Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.
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Rodney Yee
As we look deeply within, we understand our perfect balance. There is no fear of the cycle of birth, life and death. For when you stand in the present moment, you are timeless.
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Michael Landon
Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
Men's actions are too strong for them. Show me a man who has acted, and who has not been the victim and slave of his action.
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Bertrand Russell, The Philosophy of Logical Atomism
The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as not to seem worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it.
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