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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Quotations from Famous People - 169
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Umberto Eco, Travels in Hyperreality (Harcourt)
The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else.
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Henry Van Dyke
The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another. The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month. - from Fisherman's Luck
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Upton Sinclair
Fascism is capitalism plus murder.
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Napoleon Bonaparte
Men, in general, are but great children.
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Frank Herbert, Dune
Peace for any prolonged period of time is impossible. Humans have a natural thirst for chaos and war is the most readily available form of chaos.
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Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be--a christian.
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Euripides, Medea, 431 B.C.
There is no benefit in the gifts of a bad man.
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Henry David Thoreau, "Resistance to Civil Government"
I came into this world, not chiefly to make this a good place to live in, but to live in it, be it good or bad.
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Iris Murdoch
The cry of equality pulls everyone down.
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Plautus
Aliter catuli longe olent, aliter sues. (Puppies and pigs have a very different smell.)
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Lord William Beveridge
The object of government in peace and in war is not the glory of rulers or of races, but the happiness of the common man.
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Child Age 15
The people who think Tiny Tim is strange are the same ones who think it odd that I drive without pants.
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