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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Quotations from Famous People - 133
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Woody Allen
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
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Washington Irving
Great minds have purposes, others have wishes.
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Robert A. Heinlein
Theology is never any help it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there. Theologians can persuade themselves of anything.
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Benjamin Franklin
He is ill clothed, who is bare of virtue.
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Dr. Rob Gilbert
First we form habits, then they form us. Conquer your bad habits or they will conquer you.
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William Ralph Inge
Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due.
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Albert Einstein
...One of the strongest motives that lead men to art and science is escape from everyday life with its painful crudity and hopeless dreariness, from the fetters of one's own ever-shifting desires. A finely tempered nature longs to escape from the personal life into the world of objective perception and thought.
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Aristotle
He who cannot be a good follower cannot be a good leader.
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G. K. Chesterton
The rich are the scum of the earth in every country.
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Real Live Preacher
When someone allows you to bear his burdens, you have found deep friendship.
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Kahlil Gibran
I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.
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Friedrich Nietzsche, from the book Lies my Teacher Told Me. By James W. Loewen (1995)
Memory says, I did that. Pride replies, I could not have done that. Eventually memory yields.
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