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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Amusing Quotations from Famous People - 127

Matt Groening

Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.


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Mikhail Bakunin

The freedom of all is essential to my freedom.


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David Gridley, Indiantown

Swearing is like any other music...If it is not done well, if it is not done with a fine and discriminating art, and vitalized with gracious and heartborn feeling, it lacks beauty, it lacks charm, it lacks expression, it lacks nobleness, it lacks majesty...


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W. Edwards Deming

It is important that an aim never be defined in terms of activity or methods. It must always relate directly to how life is better for everyone. . . . The aim of the system must be clear to everyone in the system. The aim must include plans for the future. The aim is a value judgment.


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John Christian Bovee

The grandest of all laws is the law of progressive development. Under it, in the wide sweep of things, men grow wiser as they grow older, and societies better.


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Nigerian Proverb

Hold a true friend with both hands.


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Israel Salanter

Promote yourself, but do not demote another.


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H. L. Mencken

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.


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Jerry Seinfeld

The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be.


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Bertrand Russell

In the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying.


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Trieu Thi Trinh

My wish is to ride the tempest, tame the waves, kill the sharks. I will not resign myself...


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Albert Einstein

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.



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