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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Quotations from Famous People - 175
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William James
The man whose acquisitions stick is the man who is always achieving and advancing whilst his neighbors, spending most of their time in relearning what they once knew but have forgotten, simply hold their own.
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Guy L. Steele Jr., Tartan Laboratories
If the programmer can simulate a construct faster then the compiler can implement the construct itself, then the compiler writer has blown it badly.
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Lytton Strachey
The history of the Victorian Age will never be written we know too much about it. For ignorance is the first requisite of the historian - ignorance, which simplifies and clarifies, which selects and omits, with a placid perfection unattainable by the highest art.
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Keller
Security is an illusion. Life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing at all.
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Oscar Wilde
Children begin by loving their parents as they grow older they judge them sometimes they forgive them.
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Lester J. Pourciau
There is no monument dedicated to the memory of a committee.
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Mark Twain
Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than on all other days of the year put together. This proves, by the numbers left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.
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Calvin Coolidge
I have never been hurt by anything I didn't say.
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J. Robert Oppenheimer, speaking of Albert Einstein
Any man whose errors take ten years to correct is quite a man.
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Bern Williams
Ideas are like wandering sons. They show up when you least expect them.
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Fred Hoyle
There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.
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Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine
Every one of us gets through the tough times because somebody is there, standing in the gap to close it for us.
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