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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Quotations from Famous People - 165
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Paul Eldridge
Jealousy would be far less torturous if we understood that love is a passion entirely unrelated to our merits.
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Greek Proverb
Where there is a sea there are pirates.
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Sir William Osler
Look wise, say nothing, and grunt. Speech was given to conceal thought.
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W. Somerset Maugham
The common idea that success spoils people by making them vain, egotistic, and self-complacent is erroneous -- on the contrary, it makes them, for the most part, humble, tolerant, and kind. It is failure that makes people bitter and cruel.
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Adolph Hitler
The great masses of the people... will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one.
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Kahlil Gibran
When you work you fulfil a part of earth's furthest dream, assigned to you when that dream was born. And in keeping yourself with labour you are in truth loving life, And to love life through labour is to be intimate with life's inmost secret.
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Ambrose Bierce
Calamities are of two kinds misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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Ferdinand Magellan
The Church says that the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round. For I have seen the shadow on the moon and I have more faith in the Shadow than in the Church.
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Alan Alda, GQ, Summer, 1980
Jean Paul Sartre says in No Exit that hell is other people. Well, our task in life is to make it heaven. Or at least earth.
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C. S. Lewis
God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.
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T. S. Eliot
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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Max Karl Ernst Ludwig Planck
An important scientific innovation rarely makes its way by gradually winning over and converting its opponents . . . Its opponents gradually die out and the growing generation is familiar with the idea from the beginning.
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