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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Quotations from Famous People - 155
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Thomas Jefferson
Every man has two countries his own and France.
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Anon.
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
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Sir Francis Bacon, O Magazine, April 2003
Read not to contradict and confute…nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider.
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Michael Johnson
Life is often compared to a marathon, but I think it is more like being a sprinter; long stretches of hard work punctuated by brief moments in which we are given the opportunity to perform at our best.
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Aristotle, unknown
A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side.
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Richard Milhous Nixon
Look at the Justice Department, it's full of Jews...The lawyers in government are damn Jews.
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Ovid, Metamorphoses
We can learn even from our enemies.
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Saint Thomas Aquinas
Perfection of moral virtue does not wholly take away the passions, but regulates them.
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Virgil, Eclogues
Let us go singing as far as we go: the road will be less tedious.
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George Bernard Shaw
Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
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Oliver Cromwell
He who stops being better stops being good.
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Faith Popcorn, The Popcorn Report, 1991
The trouble in corporate America is that too many people with too much power live in a box (their home), then travel the same road every day to another box (their office).
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