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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Quotes - 159
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Billy Madison
Billy T-T-T-T-Today, Junior
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Kingman Brewster, Jr.
It is satisfying for the descendant of a dissident refugee from Elizabeth I to present his credentials to Elizabeth II.
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Juvenal
One path alone leads to a life of peace The path of virtue.
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Philo Judaeus
The air is full of souls those who are nearest to earth descending to be tied to mortal bodies return to other bodies, desiring to live in them.
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George Bernard Shaw
Hell is full of musical amateurs music is the brandy of the damned.
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Henry David Thoreau
We falsely attribute to men a determined character - putting together all their yesterdays - and averaging them - we presume we know them. Pity the man who has character to support - it is worse than a large family - he is the silent poor indeed.
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Marilyn Vos Savant
A good idea will keep you awake during the morning, but a great idea will keep you awake during the night.
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Unknown
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you get all wet.
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Francois de la Rochefoucauld
The mind cannot long act the role of the heart.
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Johann von Goethe
Whenever I hear people talking about 'liberal ideas,' I am always astounded that men should love to fool themselves with empty sounds. An idea should never be liberal it must be vigorous, positive, and without loose ends so that it may fulfill its divine mission and be productive. The proper place for liberality is in the realm of the emotions.
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Oprah Winfrey
I trust that everything happens for a reason, even when we're not wise enough to see it.
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Robert Hall
A friend should be one in whose understanding and virtue we can equally confide, and whose opinion we can value at once for its justness and its sincerity.
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