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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Quotes - 125
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R. W. Griswold
It is a barren kind of criticism which tells you what a thing is not.
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John Steinbeck, The Moon is Down
Free men cannot start a war, but once it is started, they can fight on in defeat. Herd men, followers of a leader, cannot do that, and so it is always the herd men who win battles and the free men who win wars.
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Rousseau
Free people, remember this maxim: We may acquire liberty, but it is never recovered if it is once lost.
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Henry Fielding
Now, in reality, the world have paid too great a compliment to critics, and have imagined them to be men of much greater profundity then they really are.
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Steven Wright
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
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Augustine, (AD 354-430)
The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.
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Spike Milligan, The Goons
For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.
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Thomas Love Peacock
Names are changed more readily than doctrines, and doctrines more readily than ceremonies.
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Franklin D. Roosevelt
The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little.
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Franz Kafka
There are two main human sins from which all the others derive: impatience and indolence. It was because of impatience that they were expelled from Paradise, it is because of indolence that they do not return. Yet perhaps there is only one major sin: impatience. Because of impatience they were expelled, because of impatience they do not return.
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Samuel Johnson
If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone.
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Norman Lindsay
The best love affairs are those we never had.
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