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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Silly Random Quotes - 162

Miguel de Cervantes

Fortune leaves always some door open to come at a remedy.


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John F. Kennedy, "A Thousand Days," by Arthur Schlesinger Jr. [1965]

My father always told me that all businessmen were sons of bitches, but I never believed it till now. -- (Comment made 10 April 1962 in reaction to news that U.S. Steel was raising prices by $6 per ton, right after the unions negotiated a modest new contract under pressure from JFK to keep inflation down.)


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Garry Trudeau

America: the only country in the world where failing to promote yourself is regarded as being arrogant.


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Confucius

Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.


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Dean Gordon Brown

Engineering is not merely knowing and being knowledgeable, like a walking encyclopedia; engineering is not merely analysis; engineering is not merely the possession of the capacity to get elegant solutions to non-existent engineering problems; engineering is practicing the art of the organized forcing of technological change... Engineers operate at the interface between science and society...


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Henry David Thoreau

Men have become the tools of their tools.


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Srully D. Blotnick

What looks like a loss may be the very event which is subsequently responsible for helping to produce the major achievement of your life.


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Albert Einstein

The wirless telegraph is not difficult to understand. The ordinary telegraph is like a very long cat. You pull the tail in New York, and it meows in Los Angeles. The wireless is the same, only without the cat.


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Calvin Trillin

Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.


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Hellen Keller

Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.


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Adela Rogers St. Johns

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.


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Omar Khayym

Myself when young did eagerly frequent Doctor and Saint, and heard great Argument About it and about but evermore Came out by the same Door as in I went.



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