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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Funniest Random Quotes - 149

C. Wright Mills

The aim of the college, for the individual student, is to eliminate the need in his life for the college the task is to help him become a self-educating man.


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French Proverb

When one has one's hand full of truth it is not always wise to open it.


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Ralph Waldo Emerson, Essay: Nature

To the body and mind which have been cramped by noxious work or company, nature is medicinal and restores their tone.


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Ambrose Bierce

Absurdity, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.


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Gerald R. Ford

It can go on and on, or someone must write 'The End' to it. I have concluded that only I can do that. And if I can, I must.


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Juvenal

Two things only the people actually desire bread and circuses.


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Homer

All strangers and beggars are from Zeus, and a gift, though small, is precious.


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Maria Montessori

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.


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Richard von Weizscker

Whoever refuses to remember the inhumanity is prone to new risks of infection.


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Abraham Lincoln

Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.


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William Blackstone

Law is the embodiment of the moral sentiment of the people.


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Charles Dickens

Out upon merry Christmas What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer... If I could work my will,' said Scrooge indignantly, 'every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should'



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