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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Random Quotes - 136
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David Frost
He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed.
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Greenville County (S.C.) Department of Social Services, The World Almanac and Book of Facts, 1993
Your food stamps will be stopped effective March, 1992, because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.
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Nietzsche
One repays a teacher badly if one only remains a pupil.
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Matt Groening
Warning signs that lover is bored: 1. Passionless kisses
2. Frequent sighing
3. Moved, left no forwarding address.
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Sam Levenson
Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.
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Joseph Conrad
Illusory joy is often worth more than genuine sorrow.
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Benjamin Disraeli
There is an art of reading, as well as an art of thinking, and an art of writing.
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Chico Marx
Mustard's no good without roast beef.
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Unknown
It doesn't do any good to sit up and take notice if you keep on sitting.
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F. M. Hubbard
Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
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Samuel Johnson, (attributed)
Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.
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Karl Kraus
Education is what most receive, many pass on, and few possess.
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