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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Quotes - 169
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Plato
Ignorance of all things is an evil neither terrible nor excessive, nor yet the greatest of all; but great cleverness and much learning, if they be accompanied by a bad training, are a much greater misfortune.
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Aesop
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
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George Bernard Shaw
There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.
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Dame Rose Macaulay
At the worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived.
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Jean Jacques Rousseau
Your first appearance, he said to me, is the gauge by which you will be measured try to manage that you may go beyond yourself in after times, but beware of ever doing less.
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William Shakespeare
O Romeo, Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo
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English Proverb
He that plants trees loves others besides himself.
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Richard Benner
Canada is a country so square that even the female impersonators are women.
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Aristotle
In the arena of human life the honours and rewards fall to those who show their good qualities.
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Marvin E. Wolfgang
It is the contention of this observer that few homicides due to shooting could be avoided merely if a firearm were not immediately present, and that the offender would select some other weapon to achieve the same destructive goal.
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Anon.
Hanlon's RazorNever attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
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W. Edwards Deming
If you can't describe what you are doing as a process, you don't know what you're doing.
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