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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Very Funny Random Quotes - 120

Phiroz Mehta

The evolution of consciousness culminates in an all-inclusive consciousness that functions in the context of the infinite and the eternal.


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Mark Twain

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.


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David Joseph Schwartz

How we think shows through in how we act. Attitudes are mirrors of the mind. They reflect thinking.


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Liz Smith

Begin somewhere you cannot build a reputation on what you intend to do.


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Casey Stengel

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.


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J. Gustav White

One can search the brain with a microscope and not find the mind, and can search the stars with a telescope and not find God.


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Jim Casey, Founder of UPS

Determined people working together can do anything.


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Finley Peter Dunne

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.


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Chinese Proverb

Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself.


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Betty Naomi Friedan

American housewives have not had their brains shot away, nor are they schizophrenic in the clinical sense. But if ... the fundamental human drive is not the urge for pleasure or the satisfaction of biological needs, but the need to grow and to realize one's full potential, their comfortable, empty, purposeless days are indeed cause for a nameless terror.


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P. J. O\'Rourke

Never fight an inanimate object.


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Qwatsinas

We must protect the forests for our children, grandchildren and children yet to be born. We must protect the forests for those who can't speak for themselves such as the birds, animals, fish and trees.



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