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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Crazy Random Quotes - 133

E. B. White

Somehow not only for ChristmasBut all the long year through,The joy that you give to othersIs the joy that comes back to you.


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Pat Robertson

...There is no such thing as ... separation of state and church ... in the Constitution. It's a lie of the left.


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Sir Thomas Browne

Sure there is music even in the beauty, and the silent note which Cupid strikes, far sweeter than the sound of an instrument. For there is music wherever there is harmony, order and proportion; and thus far we may maintain the music of the spheres; for those well ordered motions, and regular paces, though they give no sound unto the ear, yet to the understanding they strike a note most full of harmony.


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Dick Gregory

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.


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Danish Proverb

He who would leap high must take a long run.


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Walter Winchell

Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants.


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H.L. Mencken

A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.


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J. Arthur Lewis

Do you ever sit down and wonder what is wrong with the world Do you ever ask yourself why it is that Christians seem to have so little influence, why they seem to achieve so little, for all their numbers, in putting the world right To each of those two questions there is ultimately but one answer. It is this we lack the mind of Christ.


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Susan Glasee

I can't think of any sorrow in the world that a hot bath wouldn't help, just a little bit.


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Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

Look beneath the surface let not the several quality of a thing nor its worth escape thee.


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Laurence J. Peter

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.


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Stephen Vincent Benet

Honesty rare as a man without self-pity, kinders as large and plain as a prairie wind.



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