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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Random Quotes - 138
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Mark Twain
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
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Joseph Addison
True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise it arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self, and in the next from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions.
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Samuel Ullman
Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.
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Doug Larson
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
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Henry Adams
Accident counts for much in companionship, as in marriage.
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Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
The first glance at History convinces us that the actions of men proceed from their needs, their passions, their characters and talents and impresses us with the belief that such needs, passions and interests are the sole spring of actions.
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Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill
Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.
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Benjamin Disraeli
Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke.
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Michael Crichton, State of Fear
I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.
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Confucius
He who wishes to secure the good of others has already secured his own.
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Martha Beck, O Magazine, Growing Wings, January 2004
Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.
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Karen Elizabeth Gordon
All phone calls are obscene.
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