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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Quotes - 95
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Mae West
Loves conquers all things except poverty and toothache.
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Randall Terry
I want you to just let a wave of intolerance wash over you. I want you to let a wave of hatred wash over you. Yes, hate is good ... if a Christian voted for Clinton, he sinned against God. It's that simple. Our goal is a Christian nation. We have a biblical duty, we are called by God to conquer this country...
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James Agee
In every child who is born, no matter what circumstances, and of no matter what parents, the potentiality of the human race is born again and in him, too, once more, and of each of us, our terrific responsibility toward human life toward the utmost idea of goodness, of the horror of terror, and of God.
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Cicero
The strictest law often causes the most serious wrong.
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John Buchan
I believe that all wisdom consists in caring immensely for a few right things, and not caring a straw about the rest.
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Martin Luther King Jr.
We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.
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John W. Gardner
We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.
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Lucius Annaeus Seneca
There are more things, Lucilius, that frighten us than injure us, and we suffer more in imagination than in reality. - Epistulae ad Lucilium
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Julius Boros
By the time you get to your ball, if you don't know what to do with it, try another sport.
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Henry David Thoreau
It is never too late to give up our prejudices.
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Emile Zola
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads that gave us a shock whenever we did something to disobey the president. Then somehow I get myself elected president.
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